Thursday, November 23, 2006

It's Been A While... Part I - November 15th-16th

I will start off by apologizing for the lack of updates on this window to Don's Japanese Adventures. Sometimes the window stays shut with the curtains drawn tight. This isn't a bad thing, it just prevents the light from entering this world and illuminating the antics of the room within. After two long weeks without any sun it is definately time to throw back the drapes and really illuminate the stories I have to tell. As you can see, the room is a bit cluttered: crazy bag men, souveniers from Enoshima and Kamakura, late nights and all-nighters, enough empty beer bottles to make any liver cringe in terror, and a plethora of other little things that have made up this journey to date. Time to fill the room a little bit more.

The weekend of the 15th/16th came and went with some interesting events transpiring over the course of two days and nights. Wednesday was pay day. Sweet Japanese currency filled the bank accounts of teachers in dire need of funds. My roommate included in that bunch. What he suggested was celebrating this newfound cash flow by pissing away a bunch of it on beer and food. Needless to say I was gung-ho! We travelled to a local bar/restaurant called Doma Doma (you maye remember Doma Doma from a previous entry that involved fishy potatoes, copious amounts of beer and the gentle palette of vomit). 'This time would be different' I swore to myself. Luckily, my word is solid gold with me.

About a dozen people filled the large table and immediately picked up the menus, mouths salivating with anticipation and want to blow what little amounts of cash NOVA has provided us on this glorious day. Pints all 'round miraculously appeared before our ever-hungry eyes and all was once again well with NOVA's staff. Then, the evilness began. Andrew and Brian ordered a nasty little spirit called Sho-Chu. Take vodka, mix it with green tea and then serve it to everyone in the vacinity. Of course, some people mix drinks differently. Andrew and Brian are men who enjoy strong drinks that taste like liquid death. I barely finished mine and quickly switched back to beer.

Then the food arrived with a very special surprise: Russian Roulette balls. A tray of six innocent-looking balls, that look like chicken balls from any Chinese restaurant, hold two entirely different substances. Five contain a lovely cheese and gravy delight that taste upon the palette like penguins on a frozen pond. One contains an amount of Tabassco Sauce that could give a herd of elephants heart attacks and gastro-intestinal problems. Does one take the risk considering the 1 in 6 chance of suffering a fate worse than death? You bet your ass one does! On this night there were enough people to warrent two trays to be ordered. There were 6 gathered around our tray and we all chose one. I delicately pluck mine from the tray, examine the exterior with the precision of a diamond salesman, shrug, exclaim "What the hell..." and pop it into my mouth.

The thing that makes bad news worse is when it comes when you don't expect it. "1 in 6 chance! Those are good odds!" Words of a fool. The heat builds as I continue to chew this wretched piece of hell. Why am I still eating it? I swallow and suffer the consequences! Fire lights up the spots behind my eyes as I struggle to find a drink. I grasp the nearest glass and guzzle it. "DAMN YOU SHO-CHU!!" Now I'm on fire and drowning in a devilish alcohol! What a fate! Fortuanately, my roommate Andrew suffered through the same pain as me, so I guess misery really does love company. The pain subsides and I drift back into consciousness. The night continues and the party does not end until 1 AM when I decide that sleep is important and that I've done all the damage I can do in one night. I get Andrew keys, head back up the cursed hill to the Fortress of Solitude (as the apartment has so named by Andrew and I) and hit the sack.

Before I finish up this evening synopsis, I must tell you, my loyal readers, about the girl in the shorts. As the guys were all sitting at the far side of the table discussing random shit a girl from the table next to us got up to go to the bathroom. Normally, this wouldn't catch an entire table's focus, but this night was different. This girl was wearing what would later be dubbed "Khaki Panties." The shorts were no bigger than a pair of underwear! The entire table stopped and just collectively fell loose in the jaw area. ow, I know fashoin is a bit extreme here in Japan, but to actually witness shorts of that magnitude is like witnessing the opening of the Ark of the Convenant! It changes your whole perception and causes reactions like this one: when retelling this story to a female friend, she was quoted as saying "I'm glad you like it when girls have no respect for themselves" Simply priceless.

The next day holds nothing of real importance: laziness, laundry and grocery shopping. My excitement on Thursday was buying Christmas presents for family and friends, which is fun and all but still mundane enough to be enjoyable. Stay tuned for the next installment: Part II November 21st-22nd.

1 Comments:

At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don, I somehow missed this entry...not entirely sure how since I am a self proclaimed blog junkie....needless to say this made my day when I found it! Russian Roulette with food, that is fantabulous!! I love it!! sucks however to be you, they really should fill them with Wasabi though, now that would be fun!

~ Jessica~

 

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