Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween Hijinx

It's been a while since I've updated this blog and I swear I have a good reason for that: nothing interesting or blog-worthy has happened to me lately. Work has become routine and, therefore, pointless to talk about, I am saving my money for one nice trip on my weekend and contrary to popular belief I do not drink that much. So when I had this crazy Halloween story happen to me I instantly thought "This is definately going up on the blog! Finally, a story!" Prepare yourself for what is going to be a classic Donald/Don/Donnie tale (depending on who you are the name changes. And my family only get the use of the last one, so don't even think about it!)

Andrew, the roommate, has been hyping this house party for weeks. Ever since the crazy evening in Yokosuka I have heard nothing but "Oh man, this house party is gonna rule!" So when the day finally rolled around I was beyond prepared. I had prepped myself for working a full 8-lesson day hung over and had reserved myself for dehydration, headaches, nausea and all other alcohol-induced sufferings. The night was ours! Or, it was ours until I met my roommate walking past me on the way to the party while I was still in the process of walking back home to change and round up Mia and Kat, two of my crazy friends who are gothing it up for this party. He says that he's gonna leave early to start drinking but he will email me the directions! About 30 minutes I get the two-page text message on my cellphone of the most ridiculous directions known to man: take any bus at Kamiooka station. Listen for stop A. One stop after stop A is stop B, get off here. Look for a McDonalds and walk towards it. Keep walking til you hit the next set of lights and turn towards a gym. Walk past the gym and take a seriest of random turns until you reach the party. Make sure you solve the Riddle of the Sphinx and get through the Maze of Death, avoid the minotaur and replace the Idol with a bag of sand. Then you will be at the party. Oh crap...

Mia and Kat meet me at the station and we attempt the trek. After 20 minutes on the bus we know we have gone much too far. We get off and somehow, by a shear stroke of luck, get off near a train station. We decide to say to hell with the house party and go to a bar Mia and Kat know. After a couple of street beers from the convenience store we walk towards the train station. Hilarity follows us as we slowly slip into a comfortable state of "Why are we in the middle of nowhere dressed as goth rockers and Canadian fratboys?" You can only guess which one I was! After sliding slowly off a perfectly smooth, round bench (completely sober, mind you) we find the subway and proceed to freak out the Japanese patrons by just cackling like madmen and women, staring, acting like idiots and knowing it. That was a fun train ride!

After getting to the train stop the urge to urinate overpowers all rational thought. Luckily, there was a dark alley nearby. So I head there and proceed to go, not realizing that there is a hollowed-out concrete block that is housing a homeless person in a sleeping bag. The homeless person did not stir and I left him in peace. We head to what has now become my favourite bar: Free Birds. The bartender and owner are extremely well-versed in English, the other drinkers are a blast, the beer is cold, the Amaretto Sours are the best I've ever tasted and the Wild Turkey flows like water! It was a fantastic alternative to a house party that I later found out was broken up at 11:30 due to neighbours complaining about the noise.

Mia informs me as I munch away at the pizza we just ordered that I have missed the last train back home. I could walk but I've already prepared myself for a long night, so the decision is made to head back to Mia's place and watch Final Fantasty anime. As we are watching the movie Mia and Kat argue over what characters they would marry while I am contently the only male and have no competition for Tifa or Yuffie. Lucky me! At 3:30, we all crash for the evening with me pulling up the couch. I set my cell phone alarm for 7:00 and drift off to sleep. 7 rolls around and I am listening to the sound of ironing. Laura, Mia's roommate is up and, having been in this position many o' times, she is none too concerned about my current state: a little hung over, still wearing my frat boy clothes and groggy from sleep. I head to the train station, hit my bed at 8 for two of the best hours of sleep I have ever experienced (I swear, it felt like I slept for 12 hours!) and went to work fit as a fiddle that had been out til 3:30.

So I say to all of those who read this: may your Halloween be just as much fun, if not more! Happy Halloween everyone!


At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Andrew said...

Andrew's Fried Chicken Hangover Nightmare Japanese Style Fact #34-b: The KFC chain suffered a rash of thefts around Christmas time throughout the 1980s. The target of these nefarious theives? The statues of the good ole' boy hisself, Mr. Sanders.

Most have never been recovered.

At 10:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me tell you what I did on actually Halloween night (I am going to sign my name at the bottom right now because I always forget later and hope that you can recognize my style of speaking and know it is me). We had pumpkin carving and since I suck at carving I just went for moral support and we decided to make pumpkin seeds. So we get them all washed and get Matt's baking sheet and salt the seeds and spread them all out and realize that the sheet will not fit in the oven.

So I offer to take it upstairs to matt's room and put it in his oven, I go up about four steps and trip, land on my face and the tray goes flying in the air scattering seeds all over the landing in the stair case between 11 and 12. I go back to the common room to tell everyone what happened and I can barely get it out because I am laughing so hard about what I just did and how hilarious it must have looked.

We decide we are just going to scoop up all the seeds and then re-wash them and then cook them. That went all well and good.

A half hour later I go upstairs and I'm thinking...this floor smells bad (ohh, foreshadowing) and I walk into matt's room and am engulfed by smoke and the smell of burnt dill. We (matt) thought we should season half with this popcorn dill stuff he had, which apparently turned into a sort of paste and then burned to a crisp. So in the end about 1/4 of the seeds were edible, if you can call seeds that we scooped off the floor in the stairwell edible.



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