"A toast! To Sean Connery!"
The world has suffered a tragic loss recently when it was reported on Japanese television that legendary actor Sean Connery, star of such films as The Rock and various James Bond films, passed away at the age of 76. The acting community has had nothing but condolences and best wishes for the dearly departed's family.
Now, I know exactly what you are thinking: "Uh, Don...Sean Connery isn't dead. Where the hell are you getting your information?" Two answers for you: "I know that he's not dead NOW and I get my answers from Japanese television screens suspended storeys above my head on the Tower Records store in downtown Yokohama! If that ain't news, I don't know what is?!" So this odd bit of mis-information came about after kid's training, a deeper circle of hell reserved only for the most evil of crooks and English instructors. After the 8+ hours of ridiculous torture and self-mutilation me and my fellow trainees needed a beer. And fast! One of my friends at training, Adam, suggested hitting the same bar that Adam, Adam's girlfriend Zara and I hit after a crazy day of training a little more than a week ago. I thought that was a brilliant idea and set off to grab a pint. As fate would have it finding a table for 9 is not that easy on a Thursday night in Yokohama. And not knowing the area bar-wise we did what any sensible foreigners would do: grab beers at a local Kiosk and drink them in the middle of the street.
It was standing on the street corner for an hour that we all saw Sean Connery pop up on the massive screen, accompanied by slow, melodic piano music and slow-motion pacing. If you saw this for some famous celebrity your first instinct is to assume death. And since none of us know the Japanese phrase for "Sean Connery has died" we had no idea what the deal was. So we did the second-most sensible thing a group of drunk foreigners can do in this situation: we toasted the "dead" as loud as we could. There's nothing like a celebrity's potential death that can unite an eclectic group of misfits! It's like the Goonies coming together on the fleeting chance of rich stuff! We were brought together by an invisible, and possibly ficticious, force of nature. I've never felt more like Sloth in my life (even though I wasn't the ugliest one in the group by any means!).